How to write dialogue that feels real and grips your reader

"When I think of my wife, I always think of the back of her head. I picture cracking her lovely skull, unspooling her brain, trying to get answers." Nick Dunne in the film of Gone Girl

Dialogue. It’s so hard to get right!

There’s a lot that can go wrong: it can sound stilted, corny, unrealistic or laboured. Characters can talk too much, too little, over-explain or sound like lifeless automatons.

But getting it right matters. Here’s why.

Why dialogue matters

Dialogue is one of the most powerful tools in a writer’s arsenal. It reveals character, advances plot and injects rhythm into your prose. It can create tension, deepen relationships, or make us fall in love with a character in just a few words.

At its best, dialogue feels effortless—but it takes skill to make it that way.

Take this exchange from Peter Swanson’s Before She Knew Him:

‘Are you threatening me?’

‘Would it work if I was?’

It’s dark, slyly funny, and tells us everything we need to know about this character’s moral code — or lack of one — without any exposition.

So how can you get it right?

What Makes Dialogue Work?

Good dialogue is:

1. Purposeful – Every line should do something: reveal character, add conflict, and/or drive the story forward.

2. Natural but polished – Real-life conversations are full of ‘um’s and ‘you know’s, redundancy and repetition. If you’ve ever recorded a conversation and then transcribed (have a go if you haven’t!), you’ll know that people don’t talk in the clean polished way that they do in fiction.

3. Distinct to each character – No two people speak the same way in real life, and they shouldn’t in fiction either. (Although don’t stress too much about this - it’s irritating to read dialogue that’s written in a strong accent, for instance. You just want to hint at it, if your character has one).

4. Layered with subtext – The best dialogue isn’t just about what’s being said. It’s about what’s not being said.

Take this moment from Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn:

‘“My gosh, Nick, why are you so wonderful to me?'“

He was supposed to say: You deserve it. I love you.

But he said, “Because I feel sorry for you.”

“Why?”

“Because every morning you have to wake up and be you.”’

Ouch!! There’s a twist in this dialogue (Nick doesn’t say the expected line) and we immediately know that this relationship is in trouble. Deep trouble. Without anyone actually coming straight out with it and saying, My marriage is in deep trouble, or, ‘Hey Amy, that’s because I really hate you.’

Soooo - how do you do it, other than sitting next to Gillian Flynn all day?

We’re going to look at:

• five ways to write compelling dialogue.

• five ways to get the mechanics of dialogue right—punctuation and so on (OMG I wish I’d known this when I was starting out!)

• followed by common mistakes to avoid.