How to write dialogue that feels real and grips your reader
"When I think of my wife, I always think of the back of her head. I picture cracking her lovely skull, unspooling her brain, trying to get answers." Nick Dunne in the film of Gone Girl
Dialogue. It’s so hard to get right!
There’s a lot that can go wrong: it can sound stilted, corny, unrealistic or laboured. Characters can talk too much, too little, over-explain or sound like lifeless automatons.
But getting it right matters. Here’s why.
Why dialogue matters
Dialogue is one of the most powerful tools in a writer’s arsenal. It reveals character, advances plot and injects rhythm into your prose. It can create tension, deepen relationships, or make us fall in love with a character in just a few words.
At its best, dialogue feels effortless—but it takes skill to make it that way.
Take this exchange from Peter Swanson’s Before She Knew Him:
‘Are you threatening me?’
‘Would it work if I was?’
It’s dark, slyly funny, and tells us everything we need to know about this character’s moral code — or lack of one — without any exposition.
So how can you get it right?
What Makes Dialogue Work?
Good dialogue is:
Purposeful – Every line should do something: reveal character, add conflict, and/or drive the story forward.
Natural but polished – Real-life conversations are full of ‘um’s and ‘you know’s, redundancy and repetition. If you’ve ever recorded a conversation and then transcribed (have a go if you haven’t!), you’ll know that people don’t talk in the clean polished way that they do in fiction.
Distinct to each character – No two people speak the same way in real life, and they shouldn’t in fiction either. (Although don’t stress too much about this - it’s irritating to read dialogue that’s written in a strong accent, for instance. You just want to hint at it, if your character has one).
Layered with subtext – The best dialogue isn’t just about what’s being said. It’s about what’s not being said.
Take this moment from Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn:
‘“My gosh, Nick, why are you so wonderful to me?'“
He was supposed to say: You deserve it. I love you.
But he said, “Because I feel sorry for you.”
“Why?”
“Because every morning you have to wake up and be you.”’
Ouch!! There’s a twist in this dialogue (Nick doesn’t say the expected line) and we immediately know that this relationship is in trouble. Deep trouble. Without anyone actually coming straight out with it and saying, My marriage is in deep trouble, or, ‘Hey Amy, that’s because I really hate you.’
Soooo - how do you do it, other than sitting next to Gillian Flynn all day?
We’re going to look at:
five ways to write compelling dialogue.
five ways to get the mechanics of dialogue right—punctuation and so on (OMG I wish I’d known this when I was starting out!)
followed by common mistakes to avoid.
How to write compelling dialogue
1. Start with subtext
Even when two characters are on the same side, there should be something causing friction—different goals, unspoken tensions, a power imbalance. There’s always something that one character isn’t saying.
Consider this interrogation scene from Mystic River by Denise Lehane:
“You don’t want me to find you.”
“I don’t?”
“No, because if I do, that means I’m real mad.”
“You don’t seem mad.”
“That’s because I haven’t found you yet.”
The detective never says outright , If I catch you, you’re dead. He doesn’t need to. The tension is in the gaps, in the controlled way he speaks.
2. Keep it sharp and snappy
Long-winded speeches slow a scene down. Unless a character is meant to ramble (and even then, only do it sparingly), dialogue should be crisp and punchy.
Compare this:
“I saw you at the crime scene last night. Why were you there?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Come on, don’t lie to me. I saw you.”
“Fine, okay, I was there, but I didn’t do anything.”
With this:
“Saw you last night.”
“You’re wrong.”
“Am I?”
“It wasn’t me.”
The second version is cleaner, tighter, and leaves space for the reader to feel the tension.
3. Use silence and implication
People rarely say exactly what they mean. In fact, what’s left unsaid can be more powerful than what’s spoken.
Here’s an unsettling exchange from The Talented Mr. Ripley:
Tom Ripley: “No, I don’t think I’ll ever be like you. I don’t think you’d let me.”
Dickie Greenleaf: “What do you mean?”
Tom Ripley: “I think you’d rather be a friend than—”
Dickie Greenleaf: “Than what?”
Tom Ripley: “Oh, nothing.”
The tension here doesn’t come from what Tom says, but from what he almost says. That hesitation? Well…that’s what makes the scene.
4. Avoid information dumps
If your character says, “As you know, John, you and I have been detectives in this city for ten years,” the only thing your reader will take from that line is lazy writing. If both characters already know something, they wouldn’t say it out loud.
Instead, weave backstory into the scene naturally. Let characters argue, joke, or reference things in passing rather than spelling everything out.
5. Read it aloud
One of the easiest ways to tell if dialogue sounds natural is to say it out loud. If it feels clunky, stiff, or over-explained, rewrite it.
Get the mechanics right: Formatting and punctuation:
Good dialogue isn’t just about what’s said—it’s also about how it’s presented on the page. Poor formatting or clumsy punctuation can confuse the reader or make dialogue feel unnatural. Here’s how to get it right.
1. Dialogue tags: Keep it simple
The best dialogue tags are invisible. Said and asked do the job without drawing attention to themselves. Readers skim over them, letting the conversation take centre stage. The moment you start throwing in words like exclaimed, murmured, grumbled, opined, or interjected, the writing starts to feel forced.
For example:
“I don’t trust you,” she hissed suspiciously.
This tells us twice that she’s suspicious—once with the dialogue itself and again with ‘hissed suspiciously’. Instead, let the words and context do the heavy lifting:
“I don’t trust you,” she said.
Simple. Clean. And if you really want to avoid ‘said’ again, there’s another trick…
2. Action beats vs. Dialogue tags
Instead of using dialogue tags every time, you can show what a character is doing while they speak. This makes the scene feel more natural and immersive.
Compare these two versions:
“I don’t have time for this,” he said, rubbing his temples.
vs.
He rubbed his temples. “I don’t have time for this.”
In the second version, the action replaces the dialogue tag, making the sentence flow more smoothly.
3. Internal thoughts vs. Spoken words
Characters don’t just speak—they think. But dumping internal monologue directly into dialogue can make a conversation feel unnatural. Instead, keep thoughts separate from spoken words.
For example:
He stared at the blood on his hands. “This wasn’t supposed to happen,” he said.
It wasn’t his fault. It couldn’t be.
Here, the spoken dialogue is clearly separated from the character’s internal thoughts. Some writers use italics for thoughts, but it’s not always necessary if the context makes it clear. (Take a look at Kate Atkinson, she’s an absolute master at this).
4. Punctuation quirks: Dashes, ellipses, and interruptions
How you punctuate dialogue affects its rhythm and tone. Here’s when to use different punctuation marks:
Ellipses (…) – Shows hesitation, trailing off, or an unfinished thought.“I just thought… maybe you’d want to stay.”
Em dash (—) – Used for sharp interruptions.
“I don’t think—”
“You don’t think? That much is obvious.”
No punctuation at the end of a dialogue line when followed by a tag – If a dialogue tag follows, use a comma instead of a full stop.
“I can’t believe you,” she said.
Not: “I can’t believe you.” She said.
5. Putting it all together
Here’s a short example demonstrating these techniques:
She glanced at the door. “We should leave.”
“What?” He barely looked up. “Why?”
“Because I said so.” She shifted from foot to foot. “Because something’s… off.”
He sighed. “You always say that—”
A gunshot rang out. They both froze.
This uses action beats, an ellipsis to show hesitation, an em dash for an interruption, and no unnecessary dialogue tags. The result? Clean, compelling dialogue that feels real. (Although admittedly the gunshot is a little clichéd…).
Common mistakes to avoid
Characters all sounding the same – Give each character a distinct voice based on their background, personality, and emotional state (as much as you can without it feeling laboured).
Too much small talk – Realistic? Yes. Interesting? Nope. Keep greetings and pleasantries to a minimum.
Using dialogue as a crutch for backstory – Show, don’t dump.
Over-explaining emotions – Let subtext do the work. Instead of “I’m angry with you,” show it in clipped sentences, a cold tone, or a refusal to respond.
Finding your own rhythm
Writing great dialogue takes practice. Pay attention to how people talk, notice the way tension builds in real conversations, and always ask yourself: Does this line add something? Does it add more than one thing to the plot (ideally!)?
If the answer is no, cut it.
And remember—And sometimes, the most powerful dialogue isn’t spoken at all. It’s in the hesitation, the silence, the words left unsaid.
Friend: “See you tomorrow?”
Man: “Yeah… tomorrow.”
When writing dialogue, what’s not said can be just as important as what is.
Let me know what you think!
And in case you missed them, a masterclass and a couple of key topics to help you:
This is so helpful! Bringing dimensions of intention, emotion and tension together with crisp, moulded dialog; listening more carefully. Thank you!
BTW, you cite one of the most haunting films I know in Ripley (and for which a hat-tip goes to Sinéad’s disturbing lullaby), those very lines part of the accumulating menace. Gulp!
Thank you for this, Sanjida! Super-useful and I'll be sending students over!